Just a Girl Lost 2

Just a girl lost~ Here I share bits & pieces of me, in poetry, prose, music & posts from writers who inspire me.


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Darkness is a temporary haven

I curled up into my mind and held myself tight

I wrote to the one who hurt me, my thoughts are never tongue-tied

I was bold, ALL CAPS, adamant about what my boundaries are, Truthful about what I believe, want, need.  Brutally honest.  Pure feeling and electricity running thru my words.

At the end, after three messages, finally, I got it

I realized it didn’t matter if they read my messages or not. All that mattered is that I KNOW the truth and I know who I am, what I deserve and what it means to love.

I don’t need to prove I’m right, not anymore.  God’s the only One who knows my heart. He’s the only One I answer to and for.

I realize I never truly want to hurt those I love

I remember

I see the beautiful, loving, giving, truly radiant things their presence brings to me

Stepping away into the silence, the darkness of feeling everything, such a pain, such a peace

I realize this life is a never ending learning how to Be, how to love, how to clearly see

I let the anger, hurt, pain, tears wash over me

I know that I’m not happy living sad

The darkness is my haven temporarily, until I’m ready to face the warmth of loving, being loved again

That’s where I am meant to live

~

©justagirllost2

~

*A favorite song from one of my most favorite groups, Staind.  I LOVE all of their music.  Their words are soulful, introspective, real, raw and speak to me in so many ways. Past and present.  This song is one of my favorites.  ❤

So Far Away
Lyrics

This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I’ve shared
And these are my dreams
That I’d never lived before
Somebody shake me
‘Cause I
I must be sleeping

Now that we’re here,
It’s so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All in the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we’re here it’s so far away
And I feel like I can face the day, and I can forgive
And I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I think I’m doing okay
And this is the smile
That I’ve never shown before

Somebody shake me ’cause I
I must be sleeping

Now that we’re here,
It’s so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All in the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we’re here it’s so far away
And I feel like I can face the day, and I can forgive
And I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

I’m so afraid of waking
Please don’t shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don’t shake me

Now that we’re here,
It’s so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All in the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we’re here it’s so far away
And I feel like I can face the day, and I can forgive
And I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

 

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I See

image

When the earth is veiled beneath magic

Heaven’s water droplets of fog

A mist brings blindness to the corruption of man

That’s when my heart flees from my mind

My body sighs as it follows my whims

My racing legs meet wet grass amidst tombstones

I cannot be without the within

of this place of fairy tales and greys

this place where time stands still

where spirits play

where every intrusion disappears

and all that’s left is purity of nothingness

Purity of silence that used to be

before civilizations cacophony

blazed trails of destruction

I feel the dew drip upon me

surrounding me in pieces of soul

of ghosts disembodied yet whole

and for once, for one brief moment,

I am at peace

I see only nature without beams & wires

without man made contrivances

I see only Beauty of lives in an eternal earth

beneath a sun that forever lives

I see me, you, us, all in a dream that is the true reality

~

©justagirllost2 

*photo mine

 


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Peace

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in the presence of Peace,

you feel it

an aura of calm

surrounds the skin

a whisper feathers

ink dipped in letters

no longer tethered

being within

all your past waves good-bye

as you gently glide softly slide

sublime serenity

in blue seas of smiles within no enmity

caressing sweetly

singing of beautiful beings belonging

longing for Love to hold onto

longing for Love to belong to

longing for the day

Love finally finds you

~

 

©justagirllost2  ~Monique Mendez


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Happy Easter!

 

TOMB

 

My faith in the Resurrection is the only reason I still live

It is the only thing that has saved me from utter despair

as I weep at the unspeakable cruelties & injustices

suffered by billions of innocent human beings & creatures

as I witness the evil mankind inflicted & still inflicts upon this world

My belief that there is something beyond this life

that Love will defeat Evil

It is the only reason I have never given up hope

It is the only reason I am still able to love

I am not a preacher nor an apologist

I respect the non-belief of others

I only want to share this piece of me

My faith brings me peace in a broken world

~

Peace and love to you all, my beautiful readers

XO

©justagirllost2

Monique