My brain has a new Muse too, a demon I think, who inspired the poem out of evil spite
because he knows Alice is a part of me that I’ve tried to grow out of as I’ve matured in wisdom and tried so hard to love unconditionally, focusing on my blessings. Daily trying to remind myself that it’s all the little things that bring true joy & peace. I fail miserably.
That Alice in me, the girl who loves to break the rules & whine about how unfair Wonderland is when she’s the one who always drinking the Kool-Aid. Immature nitwit.
Here is is and I do hope you enjoy this twisted tale of a naughty twit, named Alice brought to life by an idiotic brunette, a lost girl with a lost mind.
A POEM~
A lost girl stunned into stillness, an animal trapped in steel jaws, no escape, nowhere to run from the light of day
In a darkened cave, lying in wait, adrift in a void of horrors unseen, mercifully blind Knowing the pain is in the seeing of Horror’s face. I wait to see clearly the moments before that fatal blow. Observing, silently mindful of the reality that
my Mind has a mind of its own.
It slowly unfurls itself unpeeling inch by inch as lace and smoke, thoughts and soul of formless sentience
Created to live a human existence, a body, a home of flesh, a temple of divinity perfected before time began
only Completed by Love, reborn, healed, freed from the hell of a life lived in hopeless emptiness, reborn to be who I was meant to be living a life filled with peace and joy
Where heaven on earth becomes reality and I become a light to all humanity, an unstoppable force unafraid, a human divinely perfected by Love
but, now I’m just an empty shell
of tissue and walls where nothing lives, but echoes of home
in delicate folds it finally falls from my skin like a leaf
thru doors of Shame and Grief into a field
once hid by weeds, a past revealed
in endless rows of weathered stone
unmarked, unlived, unseen
each simply bits and bones
memory buried in dirt
finally found the lock and key
to uncage my Sanity
Flying high like a bird in the sky
above the below
as my broken Heart flees to leave
a Body beneath, bereft, besieged
between Living & Dead
Wasteland of desolation and despair
covered in endless sadness
Colorless grey fog & clouds of tears
no air or wind… only endless desert
a Purgatory of suffering Souls
like me, before
smug within vanity
drunk on the arrogance of myopic divinity
uncaring in breaking another’s belief & trust
wrapped in my own Pride…
Then, that’s when the gods without warning struck;
a lighting bolt
a fiery revealing
of every
ugly~ selfish~ unloving feeling
every sin of omission~ every lie told
by a heart believing
it had healed itself gold
~
Cursing my reflection
Desolate
in my fall from grace
Calling out to Alice, “Please come & save me!”
Begging she come back to life & rescue my feeble mind
Watching myself from a far off place.
As if asleep in a hazy dreaming.
Seeing my body float & melt
into a Girl with yellow hair & an English rose face.
“Alice, sweet Alice, awakened to take my place!
You’re an angel to bear my unbearable blame!”
Her smile soon turned into a scowl of pain.
“Time to begin…
the Hunger Games!
I know you will win for me, Alice.
You are my dearest friend!”
~
In an instant she was running like the wind
Her wits childlike again. She looked wild as an animal,
all reason replaced by raw instinct.
A pristine beauty in such primal insanity.
Her broken mind took flight racing the sun
to beat the moon’s rising soon
unleashing the hounds of hell to capture her
for another of my endless nights
of bloody torment & torture.
~
It’s true Alice, there’s no rest for the wicked.
I’m sorry to say! You should have behaved!
Poor Alice, you’ve always been more feline than female.
Always inquisitive, when awake, just like Dinah your cat.
A pretty pet, curiouser & curiouser, always wanting
to taste strange things then wishing you’d listened to reason.
Drinking poison & spewing nonsense,
until dizzy & spinning, ungrinning at the possibility
that impossibilities do not exist or happen as a fact.
~
Such a pretty, bloody trainwreck
painting white roses red
with the guard of playing card men
in a whirl of confusions
A swarm of faces cowering in winds,
as the Red Queen rips in, hailing fire balls
of bloodlust and Death
Screams of, “Off with her head!’
A daring escape, my sweet Alice!
You ran so swiftly back
to rolling hills
of mundane realities.
A relief, but how sad you must be!
Banished from a Wonderland
of vanishing Cats,
& Caterpillars smoking Hookahs
blowing rings of disdain at the endless invitations
to Unbirthdays from very Mad Hatters;
the Gleeful punctuality of
White Rabbit, watch in gloved hands
racing the hour glass
never changing his pace,
still somehow, forever missing his dates!
Never a boring moment to be had!
A land without you, sweet Alice, unhappy
for certain, but at least no one offed with your Head!
Count your blessings!
yet, poor Alice, always Pondering
Words of Wisdom,
Never takes her own advice
Always wants to Taste more
of the Naughty than the Nice
Such a greedy Appetite…
~
??!AGAIN!?!?
~
Chasing the White Rabbit.
Time to get her FIX!
~
She dives in blue seas of fantasy,
swimming ‘neath reality, thru the Looking glass
Not even she gives a damn how much more this time she’ll bleed
Nothing but gladness & madness & upside down sadness!
Sanity’s only meant for reality; twits must fly regardless
Eyes wide shut! Blind to duty & those left behind us!
~
Crossing the border into a place of
desire and need~ hunger and greed
She’s her own deity
dancing~ weaving
slithering~ snaking
falling, falling deep within decay & dirt
A bottomless pit of earth & blackness
falling down, down, down
the rabbit hole again
Lost in the twisted shadows of a hell
created by a soul afraid to grieve and
a heart deathly afraid to receive
~
“Alice, open your eyes,
please believe in inner beauty Alice,
not the outer lies!
Alice, you must try, try!
You are much, much more than my muchier friend!
If only you could see true…
Everyone falls! Everyone bleeds! Everyone needs!
L O V E
No one’s perfect or ever will be!
You must set yourself free from Past Prisons of Pleasing!
You must forget to remember
the High & Haughty telling you, “NO MORE DREAMS!”
STOP! GO
Fast Forward Past FREE to
just Be… HaPpY!
Alice, I beg of you, please come back with me!
Come back with me!
Realize that your joy will never be lost.
You’ll always have books of words written to dream.
The secret is simply to accept the girl thru the looking glass.
I am you & you are me!
Accept it all, the joy and sadness of love and living.
Love the perfectly imperfect wonderland & madness.
Every beautiful bit and piece within us
we’re the heavenly sin
of a girl named Alice.”
~
©justagirllost2
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