Just a Girl Lost 2

Just a girl lost~ Here I share bits & pieces of me, in poetry, prose, music & posts from writers who inspire me.


When I Love Again




When I commit to love again …

he will be my best friend,

my confidant,

my confessor who accepts

all of me


He will be the one I mesh with,

my missing piece in mind & heart, as I will be his.


He will be that one person who I like being around

Naked in every way

without inhibitions

without fear

free to explore every hidden

and forbidden fantasy

A magnet of lust requited.

Lusting a soul mate is always reciprocal

that’s one of the rules.

(He’s also gonna like to walk around naked at 2am

& eat Rocky Road ice cream from the fridge

from the same spoon)


He’ll be the one who talks politics and philosophy

He will not see the bad me, only the me who loves him.

When I’m mad & acting crazy,

he’ll kiss my forehead and say things to make me laugh at me


He’ll have a Truth and faith inside that cannot be denied

He will make me want to be the better person I should have been

He will be the nobility missing in me


He will be Himself, always

A man with a light inside he’s unafraid to hide

A man of courage, more than mine


A man of pure soul & pure heart

A man unafraid of the darkness within

A man unafraid to be who his spirit calls him to be


A man in love with Love

A man in love with me

A man who needs no others, but me and God, who brought us together

so that we could transform each other into the most perfect expressions of joy and happiness with all whom we love

Our children, our families, our friends all others share in the bounty of this One true Love


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All Over Again

Weekends together ~ just us two

Lying on lazy piles of pillows & clothes

tossed haphazardly in frenzied haste

after a night out of agonizing foreplay

consumed us with the need to taste each other’s flesh

I look up at you ~ I adore drowning in the depths of your eyes

I leisurely trace the life line of your palm,

loving the silence of our quiet togetherness

Peacefully reading~not watching the news

because we NEVER argue politics on Sundays

I long to be found in your smile

as you grab me & nuzzle my neck,

whispering how delicious & delectable is my nakedness,

except for those Damn socks! that I only take off in the shower

or if we’re making love or if we’re in the shower making love

I giggle as you tickle & bite, feeling your growl,

shivers run through me as I see that look in your eyes

letting me know that NOW it’s time to take them off …

And afterwards, sated & content

lying entwined ~ blissfully spent

your heartbeat on mine

I want to find you ~ all over again




*image taken from Pinterest

~ a repost and a forever wish waiting to come true…


The Way Alice Solves Unsavory Things



‘Dear Alice,
Please, please attend my party. There will be tea & strumpets galore!

There will be endless diatribes without 1 door prize!

And the Caterpillar’s hookah shall be passed to Enlighten thee

as I & Miss Dormousy scream & dream of me, me, ME!

I promise, you will be most Deelighted by MY delightfulness!

The MadMadMad Hatter’
poor Alice sighed as she glared at the invitation just delivered.

Number 169…
(Just how many days of the year were there in this UnWonderful

UnBirthdayland of thoughtless Twit & Twat?)

That Hatter! His persistence was only matched by his arrogance.

Quite mad & quite maddening!
Would it ever end?

For, on her sublimely short roll of those she despised

with the utmost fury & purest of disdain,

he and his lushy lousy Dourmousy were tiptops on

‘The Wretched Few Who Make My Skin Crawl’ list!

How could it have come to this?

Didn’t those so undroll & beneath contempt see

that she preferred to pretend that they DID UnExist?

After all, an UnBirthday invitation was a bit redundant

if one never existed wasn’t it?

Or was it all relative to her relativity of being cognizant of them?
Oh bother, curiouser & curiouser how confusing things could be

when dealing with such ridiculous beings

made up of delusions and dichotomies & pretensions and falsities

& every old and new found stupid stupidity.
“Just smoke & ash & garbled trash, my dear”, the Rabbit always cringed

as he read their warbled words written on paper tiger skins.

sigh again…

With a flip of her wrist she tossed the vile invitation into the bin labeled ‘DRIVEL’

filled with all the other putrid messes of poetic pontifical professes.

“There, that’s that! You inane insane arse-kissing hypocrite Mad Hat!

Since you and your ratty rat do not exist, your non-existent

PitTea party I shan’t even need to miss!”.


~the end



*Claire Rosen, artista, fashion shooting, her version of Alice in Wonderland


I call that one, “Old Gregg”


I have loved Old Gregg since my oldest daughter introduced me to the character years ago.

I LOVE Old Gregg and The Mighty Boosh.  WATCH and FALL in love with OLD GREGG!!! ❤


Old Gregg:

Ever drunk Bailey’s from a shoe?

I’m gonna hurt you

I like you

what you think of me?

I know what you’re thinking…



Check them out when you have a chance 🙂


©justagirllost2 ~ Monique

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE!!!  🙂  xoxoxo  ❇️ ✳️❇️ ✳️

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Broken promises broke a heart~a Girl Lost falls down, down the rabbit hole found by Madness as Alice, again

My brain has a new Muse too, a demon I think, who inspired the poem out of evil spite

because he knows Alice is a part of me that I’ve tried to grow out of as I’ve matured in wisdom and tried so hard to love unconditionally, focusing on my blessings. Daily trying to remind myself that it’s all the little things that bring true joy & peace.  I fail miserably. 

That Alice in me, the girl who loves to break the rules & whine about how unfair Wonderland is when she’s the one who always drinking the Kool-Aid. Immature nitwit.

Here is is and I do hope you enjoy this twisted tale of a naughty twit, named Alice brought to life by an idiotic brunette, a lost girl with a lost mind.



A lost girl stunned into stillness, an animal trapped in steel jaws, no escape, nowhere to run from the light of day

In a darkened cave, lying in wait, adrift in a void of horrors unseen, mercifully blind Knowing the pain is in the seeing of Horror’s face. I wait to see clearly the moments before that fatal blow.  Observing, silently mindful of the reality that

my Mind has a mind of its own.

It slowly unfurls itself unpeeling inch by inch as lace and smoke, thoughts and soul of formless sentience

Created to live a human existence, a body, a home of flesh, a temple of divinity perfected before time began

only Completed by Love, reborn, healed, freed from the hell of a life lived in hopeless emptiness, reborn to be who I was meant to be living a life filled with peace and joy

Where heaven on earth becomes reality and I become a light to all humanity, an unstoppable force unafraid, a human divinely perfected by Love

but, now I’m just an empty shell 

of tissue and walls where nothing lives, but echoes of home

in delicate folds it finally falls from my skin like a leaf 

thru doors of Shame and Grief into a field 

once hid by weeds, a past revealed

in endless rows of weathered stone

unmarked, unlived, unseen

each simply bits and bones

memory buried in dirt

finally found the lock and key

to uncage my Sanity

Flying high like a bird in the sky

above the below

as my broken Heart flees to leave 

a Body beneath, bereft, besieged

between Living & Dead

Wasteland of desolation and despair

covered in endless sadness

Colorless grey fog & clouds of tears

no air or wind… only endless desert

a Purgatory of suffering Souls

like me, before

smug within vanity 

drunk on the arrogance of myopic divinity

uncaring in breaking another’s belief & trust

wrapped in my own Pride…

Then, that’s when the gods without warning struck;

a lighting bolt

a fiery revealing

of every

ugly~ selfish~ unloving feeling

every sin of omission~ every lie told

by a heart believing

it had healed itself gold


Cursing my reflection


in my fall from grace

Calling out to Alice, “Please come & save me!”

Begging she come back to life & rescue my feeble mind

Watching myself from a far off place.

As if asleep in a hazy dreaming.

Seeing my body float & melt

into a Girl with yellow hair & an English rose face.

“Alice, sweet Alice, awakened to take my place!

You’re an angel to bear my unbearable blame!”

Her  smile soon turned into a scowl of pain.

“Time to begin…

the Hunger Games!

I know you will win for me, Alice.

You are my dearest friend!”


In an instant she was running like the wind

Her wits childlike again. She looked wild as an animal,

all reason replaced by raw instinct.

A pristine beauty in such primal insanity.

Her broken mind took flight racing the sun

to beat the moon’s rising soon

unleashing the hounds of hell to capture her

for another of my endless nights

of bloody torment & torture.


It’s true Alice, there’s no rest for the wicked.

I’m sorry to say! You should have behaved!

Poor Alice, you’ve always been more feline than female.

Always inquisitive, when awake, just like Dinah your cat.

A pretty pet, curiouser & curiouser, always wanting

to taste strange things then wishing you’d listened to reason.

Drinking poison & spewing nonsense,

until dizzy & spinning, ungrinning at the possibility

that impossibilities do not exist or happen as a fact.


Such a pretty, bloody trainwreck

painting white roses red

with the guard of playing card men

in a whirl of confusions

A swarm of faces cowering in winds,

as the Red Queen rips in, hailing fire balls

of bloodlust and Death

Screams of, “Off with her head!’

A daring escape, my sweet Alice!

You ran so swiftly back

to rolling hills

of mundane realities.

A relief, but how sad you must be!

Banished from a Wonderland

of vanishing Cats,

& Caterpillars smoking Hookahs

blowing rings of disdain at the endless invitations

to Unbirthdays from very Mad Hatters;

the Gleeful punctuality of

White Rabbit, watch in gloved hands

racing the hour glass

never changing his pace,

still somehow, forever missing his dates!

Never a boring moment to be had!

A land without you, sweet Alice, unhappy

for certain, but at least no one offed with your Head!

Count your blessings!

yet,  poor Alice, always Pondering

Words of Wisdom,

Never takes her own advice

Always wants to Taste more

of the Naughty than the Nice

Such a greedy Appetite…




Chasing the White Rabbit. 

Time to get her FIX!


She dives in blue seas of fantasy, 

swimming ‘neath reality, thru the Looking glass

Not even she gives a damn how much more this time she’ll bleed

Nothing but gladness & madness & upside down sadness!

Sanity’s only meant for reality; twits must fly regardless

Eyes wide shut! Blind to duty & those left behind us!


Crossing the border into a place of

desire and need~ hunger and greed

She’s her own deity

dancing~ weaving

slithering~ snaking

falling, falling deep within decay & dirt 

A bottomless pit of earth & blackness

falling down, down, down

the rabbit hole again

Lost in the twisted shadows of a hell

created by a soul afraid to grieve and

a heart deathly afraid to receive


“Alice, open your eyes,

please believe in inner beauty Alice,

not the outer lies!

Alice, you must try, try!

You are much, much more than my muchier friend!

If only you could see true…

Everyone falls! Everyone bleeds! Everyone needs!


No one’s perfect or ever will be!

You must set yourself free from Past Prisons of Pleasing!

You must forget to remember

the High & Haughty telling you, “NO MORE DREAMS!”


Fast Forward Past FREE to

just Be…  HaPpY!

Alice, I beg of you, please come back with me!

Come back with me!

Realize that your joy will never be lost.

You’ll always have books of words written to dream.

The secret is simply to accept the girl thru the looking glass.

I am you & you are me!

Accept it all, the joy and sadness of love and living.

Love the perfectly imperfect wonderland & madness.

Every beautiful bit and piece within us

we’re the heavenly sin

of a girl named Alice.”





Words Are Meaningless



Words are meaningless

(at least that’s what she said when I called her out on it)


There is never a reason for writing words

No inspirations in human or vegetable form

No muses that inspire passion beyond the norm


Words are just art,

amorphous spigots of thought

spit from vacuums of what…

Art art art!!! O N L Y ART!


Poems are Big Bangs of abc’s
Throw them up
See what sticks

If you’re lucky you get something human

Something beautiful, deep, inspirational

Something invoking emotion pulled from inside

the writer who threw them up,

regurgitations of some fucking beautiful, deep fucking stuff…

(conspicuous use of the word ‘fucking‘ always makes the woman ‘writer’ seem much less impotent and so much more legitimate)


Words are (in my insane, naive head)

NOT Robotic
Un felt
Pimped out
For a buck, but,

how dare you imply it’s not from the heat?

I mean, heart! Heart!!

All from the HEART!!


But it’s not!!!

(you say you say you say, again)

See, it’s only when we (they) say

it’s from the heart, only then,

the rest of the time not,

got it?


Words (you say again)

That’s how real writers write, right?

It doesn’t have to make sense, just read it

and believe all the bullshit we (they) spit


Our words
Are IT

in a context making no sense,

that’s how it is

makes cheating legit (very convenient, isn’t it?)


(That fit ONLY what we’re comfortable with)

it’s not selling out, it’s selling it

and if we get a little action on the side, so be it

it’s only hearsay and poetry, bitch



©justagirllost2~ Monique M.