CHRISTY

~

The past is always present ~ Immortal ink bleeds

from the heart of Love

beyond the reach of time in ebbings and flowings

sweptaway keptaway sinking thinking

what if this is all there is

what if there is so much more?

the present

my words always true

untainted by reason

as constant as the tides

heavenly

sun rising high

always true ~

as constant as the tides

no rhyme or reason ~ no longer my own

owned by the one who holds my heart

my every thought eternally bound to only you

Dance with the Angels, my beautiful Christy

You were an angel over all of us

You swept us ‘neath your wings

dusklightmemory

Always with love we’ll remember you,

Always your love will pull us thru

you’re forever in our hearts

and forever in our dreams

~

I miss you and I love you, my sweet Christy ❤

I pray that you are resting gently at peace

RIP ~ 05/13/2017 ~ Christina Gigliotti

~

There’s

so much i wanna say

about how she influenced and affected me and others

ripples on an ocean

she was like a star falling into a sea

touching so many

in ways we didn’t know we needed,

but

this is all I have for now…

prayers for her and her family

prayers for us all

amen

~

©justagirllost2

DuskLightMemory ~ Happy Birthday,C!🌸

🌸

Within you
Deep beneath the thoughts

others read into you
places locked
dreams you forgot
They still live within You

You have all you need

To Be as you’re meant

To Be
To live without the within

they built for you
You are and always have been here
You are worth more, my dear
Every single bit of you withheld
without their blessing
Never useless or lesser
You are precious~perfect

You need not be measured
Just live  ~  free to be…  You
~

Happy Birthday, my beautiful Christy!

I still think of you, all the time, when I see a red cardinal fly by

I still pray for you, and your family, because family is and was the most important thing to you.

You always had love to share.

You truly cared for others and that’s a damn rare thing.

You cared, Christy.

You opened your arms and shussed us all in under your wings like an angel friend.

I know people aren’t Angels, but Christy,  you were my angel whenever I needed.

You were always there for me.

You always had an uplifting thought, a kind word, a giddy laugh, a pat on the back,

an “Oh, hell! Nah, girl you’re better than that!”

You always saw the good in people, that’s a beautiful thing.

You were the one lifting others up as the dark ones pulled them down.

You were real, truth, goodness, integrity, honesty, gentility, class and sass.

You were earthy, fiery, hot and passionate.

You were gentle, soothing, soft, hugs and it’ll be ok, I’m here for you. That was you, C.

You just couldn’t understand how people could hurt one another, intentionally

and this message always stays with me, because, it’s you, C, it’s you, my beautiful @dusklightmemory …

‘Aww! Luvs’ you girl 

Take care of yourself your kids need ya

Fuck everyone else

Stay Strong

Single mothers are warrior angels in disguise…‘

So, Happy Birthday, Baby!

I’m so happy God brought you into this world!

You have touched and changed my life to infinity and I know we will meet again, and we’ll laugh and talk and hug and dance and sing and all will be LOVE, heavenly, we’ll all be together one happy family, across distance and time across horizons beyond what the eye  can see. 

I miss and love you, my Sweet Christy.

You’re in my prayers, my thoughts, my heart and always on my mind.

I love you, Sister I never had.

I love you, Christy, wildflower, moonchild,

beautiful angel, I love you,  my soul sister my forever and ever friend.

~

@justagirllost2

#dusklightangels

06/01/2017

~

A True Friend

 

I adore that we can be so different, polar opposites in our political and religious beliefs, the things that create division, destroy families and societies, yet we somehow rise above it in the mutual acceptance of never changing another’s truth, out of love.

I adore that we can see beyond the mind into the heart.

I adore that the only thing that matters is that we share the same view of what it means to truly love.

I adore those rare souls who seek out ours and see beautiful things in us and we become more beautiful in the warmth of a thousand suns from their hearts offering the most inspiring kind of love.

A perfect form of love becomes possible only in the bonds of friendship.

A true friend chooses you because of who you are.

A true friend doesn’t judge you when you fall, they simply love you.

A true friend gives you gentle honesty when you need to hear the truth and they respect you, they never try to fix you into who they think you need to be.

 

And ever so often, a true friend can become so much more…

~

©justagirllost2

just like her

 

 

~

She bleeds inside,

just like her

~

She cries alone

rivers of tears,

mourning lost years

 

She is afraid to love again,

at being misunderstood,

 

just like her

~

She feels the fear of being rejected

for the wall of flaws built around her heart,

~

just like her

 

She has been battered,

abused and betrayed

ridiculed for feeling pain

~

She has survived darkest hell

and somehow lived to tell,

~

just like her

 

She never had to pretend

to be tough as nails

It was already in her dna

~

She never had to hide

behind rough exteriors

She was a warrior inside

and though

she was made a leafless tree

her naked branches broken & dead

she found the courage to bloom, to hope

to love again, to live

to trust with every beat of her heart

~

just like her

 

If only she’d been given a chance

to know your open heart

If only she would have gotten

back what she gave you

your true friendship

your acceptance

your desire

your forgiveness of flaws

your unselfish love…

~

just like her

~

©justagirllost2  ~Monique

Sometimes things are black & white

~

Those who love you can’t always right the wrongs or stop the tears that fall,

but they’ll always love you thru it & see the real you

You have to love yourself too

Things are black and white
when you have the emotional capacity to accept the Truth

& the truth of others isn’t up to you to fix or undo

When you’re wrong admit it, apologize,

seek to make amends with sincere attrition

accept their decision

if they reject you, let them be, move on,

set yourself free
Moving on means not repeating wrongs
taking the high road &
not worrying about

being misunderstood

by those who are fools

~

I’m far from perfect
Closer to incorrigible
I’m never shades of grey
I’m black and white
Not a hypocrite

I’ll always stab you
in the front, never
the back

I don’t hide behind
sweet, innocent smiles getting others
to do my dirty work
I’ll dirty my own damn hands

& give you hell if you deserve it

I’ve been betrayed, lied to, fucked over royally
I know what it feels like to be hurt over, over and over

I know what it’s like to love unconditionally,

to give yourself completely and still have it never be enough.

You will get hurt, people are mean,

they made you cry…they’ll make you cry

but,

IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE

You’re free & alive

so Suck it up and call it LIFE
STOP Bitching about it
Whining about it
over and over and over,
that’s for the cowardly & cruel

These things I have to keep telling myself

over & over and I do tell myself over & over

I have to tell myself again or I’ll drown

in my own negativity and hurt those around me

My mantra:

Count your blessings
Move forward

Live in the present in Joy

and Hope for the Future
~

I am not perfect, no one is,

but I’m worthy of love

just like you

and

Yea, it’s black and white, cause
you’re nothing but wrong

and I’m nothing but right,

sometimes…

~

©justagirllost2

*photo mine

I missed us

My love and friendship didn’t fade

I left you resting with your pain

No screaming words or recriminations

I let you grieve, yet

I never had a chance to explain my whys or say

I’m so sorry for my mistakes

You jumped to conclusions

You locked me away

(I’d apologized to the snake, but I guess he felt the need to spread venom & kill our friendship)

It was the vilest betrayal, hollow and cruel

 

~

I truly miss the us,

the true sisterhood,

friendship

and love

You

so callously tossed away

~

I wish we’d stayed

~

©justagirllost2 ~ Monique