Just a Girl Lost 2

Just a girl lost~ Here I share bits & pieces of me, in poetry, prose, music & posts from writers who inspire me.

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What is love?


There are places I remember in my life…

Some beautiful and hug-filled and snuggly and warm. Having my head rubbed as I hold my favorite stuffy.

Some dark and muddy and filled with shouting and angry reds and implied harm. Horrid dinner table times where each mouthful was an epic swallow of dread and dust.

They are all filled with love.

The only love I know.

The only way I know how to love, so often.

My goal is to change and I am, changing it.

Two days ago, my kids and I went grocery shopping and they fought the whole time and then fought with me in the car. They spoke their minds, it hurt and taught and it sucked.

At home we had a brilliant dinner and they spent over 3 hours together making a sequel to a video they did two years ago.

Perhaps there is something to be said for airing out what we dislike about each other in a vat of loud love.

Niki ūüíē


*Photo mine



No More Naked Words of Me



No more naked words of me

I’ll share with unfit company

No more pearls to swine
wallowing in

malicious pits
of rhyme

Greedily feeding upon frenemies
In snide remarks

they crassly snort
from gaping cavities

Cackling round cauldrons
Stirring up slander
in smiles & sabotage

Envy & insecurity forms friendships
Coven’s of commonalities

whose Joyous glee
derives from wHine & inflicting cruelty

Hating the me

that they create
from moldy thoughts
& evil hearts

Their misery needs company
to justify impiety

Lying eyes see only lies

Venomous bites
contort distort

truth as alibis
to fit inside

teeny tiny

twisted minds


*reposting this piece because,

so often these temporary feelings of pain resurface,

unfortunate lows in the mostly highs that come

from exposing your thoughts & heart in permanent ink.

* I really like it! and it’s a bit Halloweeny…


*photo mine

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Trump Provides $1.8 Billion for Autism CARES Act ūüėä

October 2, 2019 10:38, Last Updated: October 2, 2019 11:21

By Venus Upadhayaya , Epoch Times


President Donald Trump signed into law the Autism Collaboration, Accountability, Research, Education, and Support (CARES) Act of 2019 on Sep. 30.

The law modifies existing autism programs, according to a White House statement, and sets aside $1.8 billion in funding for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), National Institutes of Health (NIH) and Health Resources and Services Administration over the next five years to use for these programs.

The bipartisan legislation was sponsored by Rep. Chris Smith (R-N.J.) and Rep. Mike Doyle (D-Pa.).

‚ÄúMy bill, the Autism CARES Act of 2019 was just signed into law by @realDonaldTrump,‚ÄĚ Smith¬†wrote in a message on Twitter.¬†‚ÄúThis comprehensive new law authorizes $1.8 billion over 5 years to help children & adults w/autism by funding research, early detection & treatment.‚ÄĚ

The bill sets aside $296 million for the National Institutes of Health (NIH), $ 23.1 million for the CDC, and $50 million for Health Resources and Services Administration.

The new law ‚Äúwill fund critical biomedical autism research as well as the development of best practices to enhance the lives of persons with autism. We need answers now and treatment options and interventions that work,‚ÄĚ said¬†Smith in a statement.

He said the new law expands the already existing programs to include older people with autism ‚Äúwho were‚ÄĒand are‚ÄĒoften misdiagnosed, underdiagnosed and overlooked.‚ÄĚ

The new law also reauthorizes and expands the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee (IACC), a federal advisory committee that coordinates Federal efforts and advises the Secretary of Health and Human Services on issues related to autism spectrum disorder.

Smith said in the statement that the new law will allow members from¬†Departments of Labor, Justice, Veterans Affairs, and Housing and Urban Development into the IACC. It also allows the Health and Human Services Secretary to prioritize grants to ‚Äúrural and underserved areas.‚ÄĚ

Doyle thanked advocates for their work on the bill in a message on Twitter.

‚ÄúGreat news! Yesterday, the Autism CARES Act was signed into law,‚Ä̬†he wrote. ‚ÄúI introduced this bill with¬†@RepChrisSmith¬†to reauthorize funding for research on autism spectrum disorders and support individuals with autism throughout their lives. My thanks to advocates for your work!‚ÄĚ

Smith’s legislation was supported by 35 non-governmental organizations including the Autism Society of America, Autism Speaks, Autism New Jersey, the Association of University Centers on Disabilities, the Children’s Hospital Association, the National Council on Severe Autism, and the National Down Syndrome Society.

Autism spectrum disorder is a development disorder that can lead to social, communication and behavioral challenges. CDC says one in 59 children in the United States suffers from autism spectrum disorder and it is four times more prevalent in boys than in girls.

*Link to article below



The Cat is a Mercenary of LOvE ~

*Lulu, one of our 3 cats

When our cat, the cat belonging only to herself,
deigns to sleep next to me

I feel special & loved
Our cat is a good judge of character.
I believe that Cats know how & who to love.
They’re fluffy, fickle, mercenary creatures.
They pretend not to know you sometimes.
They’re more patient than dogs.
They take their Sweet Cat Time
They’re selective about which lap they wanna lay in.
They definitely hold up in comparison

to Zack, our dog
who follows & gets in their faces
like a jumping bean, bouncing
out of reach NEVER taking the hint,
NEVER getting out of Cat Space,
’til they scratch/whack him.
He’s always in a frenzy of jealousy when they’re around us.

Cats meow when they need or feel.

Zack loves people too much & rarely barks.
He tries to escape anytime he can burst thru the door, whoosh & he’s GONE, on a doggie quest
leaving pee on every mailbox
& if it’s sunny day he rolls around in a special field & comes home smelling of vile, dead things.
Cats don’t roll in manure & toxic muck
They HATE unsanitary things
maybe that makes them smarter?
to be fair, our cat, LuLu loves to lay
on counter tops & book shelves
& 5 out of 10 times she rolls right off
So, maybe Cats & Dogs are evenly matched, a bit smart, a bit stupid in their own unique way.
I adore our dog. He makes better company. He never leaves.


*photos mine.

Our dog Zack & me & just Zack.