Just a Girl Lost 2

Just a girl lost~ Here I share bits & pieces of me, in poetry, prose, music & posts from writers who inspire me.


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Be Ashamed of Being Ashamed of being an American ūüáļūüáł

The only thing that I am ashamed of are Americans who say they are ashamed of America,¬†so that they can be ‘PC’ or fit in with the current fads of society.

Why succumb to the herd mentality?

How about you use your brain for good reasons, with reason and to reason?

How about you try that for once?

Brave men and woman DIED for YOU so that you can call yourself an American.

Never be ashamed of your country or what it stands for.

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instead…

Be ashamed

of those who trample on the Constitution

Be ashamed

of those who denigrate the great men & women who fought and fight for your freedoms & rights.

Be ashamed

that through your own ignorance & apathy you have allowed the corrupt, the evil, the despotic, the immoral to turn this country into a cesspool of inhumanity

Be ashamed

that you are so busy living your ‘perfect’ little lives

that you are blind to the Truth staring you in the eyes

Be ashamed

that you let your children be indoctrinated with Lies

that you call Free Speech, Hate Speech and Free Thought, Intolerance

Yes,

be ashamed of being ashamed

of being an American.

Shame on you…

~

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@justagirllost2

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In These Grey Days

A re post, but still very relevant. 

A family matter, an upheaval, a disruption, a tyranny

that’s been ongoing 2 years now

and

very soon the clouds will disappear, very, very soon.

I hope and pray all comes to the good and that finally

the weight will be lifted off of my and my family’s shoulders

and we’ll once again be able to breathe.

Niki ‚̧

image (4)

In these grey days filled with tears and sadness

Fear, now my master

taunting me as I am kissed by Judas

Handed over to my accuser

Betrayer of her own, of ALL preyed upon

ruthless her kindness, relentless her cruelty

Shuffling papers = attack mode- ON

Going down her Hit List of Total Bullshit

all HIS LIES and her side show

Eye-rollin’ sarcasm¬†when¬†she gets called out as a Liar.

Rude and unprofessional with ZERO class

or decorum.

She sits there & LIES & DISTORTS

& MANIPULATES the TRUTH.

It’s beyond¬†hypocrisy. ¬†It is beyond injustice.

It is EVIL, pure & simple

and, the mask of being ‘Civilized’

is grafted down to her bone.  There is nothing

‘real’ left within her to be shown

Not an ounce of empathy, compassion or

humanity.

I feel like Daniel thrown to the Lions…

I sit there alone.  

Completely, utterly alone.

Watching her moods swing from snarky law bitch

to a soft-spoken,  jovial, chubby Aunt Bee

with really bad hair.

She has her shtick down pat.

Sharing  little stories and anecdotes

of bad guys ALWAYS getting caught

trying to beat the drug test.

Remember?

Remember that one woman…STAB …

she tested negative with the pee test, but

that hair test  was off the charts positive

she had SO much crack¬†…

STICK… in her system!!!

(here it comes)… STABSTABSTAB

“See? don’t be a stupid crack whore

you clueless peasant”, her soulless eyes

tell you.

and

All I feel is sad. ¬†So sad…

This wasn’t just a crack whore,

another notch on your scratching post!

This was a HUMAN BEING, a woman

who wasn’t born a criminal.

This is a daughter, a mother

Long ago her innocence lost, and now

her child’s is being lost…

broken home, broken heart, broken lives

So much suffering, generations

affected and it’s all¬†laughed away

’cause

“People are stupid, useless, ignorant anyway.”

She loves to stick those pins

I feel so cold and sick, as if I’m going to¬†

crawl out of my skin.

I get it now.  Most of it.  Need more time

to process. ¬†I’m far from ok. ¬†I’m in a zone

of stress .  I need to get my composure back

I need to act oblivious. ¬†I’m numb.

Frozen in this strange dread and confusion 

My thoughts, flatlined… dead.

Is this what hell feels like?

Her demented giggle never quite reaching

her squinty little eyes,

she’s¬†watching me across the table.

“Eyes are the windows of the soul.”,

keeps running through my head.

Curiosity gets the best of me

I look straight up at her, not past her.

I SEE her.

I see a sad excuse for a human being.

I feel surprised, shocked actually,

at this slovenly mess across from me.

“How in the hell can that woman NOT have

a zillion issues? How OLD is she? She can’t be

that much older than me, 10-15 years? She looks

like a bag lady who just rolled out of bed.

Good Lord. Hasn’t she heard of Maybelline?

I bet she has about 5 cats already ’cause

they don’t know ‘Heil’ from ‘Here, kitty kitty'”

I  SEE her.

A bitter, hate-filled, unkempt, insecure,

vicious woman who is out to annihilate me.

She HATES women. She HATES me.

She has found the PERFECT client in HIM.

She’s a paid abuser.

Hired by the man who abused & is still abusing me.

She is beneath contempt.

I feel disdain, rage, & offense beyond belief.  

Seeing into eyes of a woman

who looks old

tired

Two dirty, cracked windows to

a soul like a rat grey, listless & fat

and a heart like a shriveled husk

dead, cold & black

I SEE her.

A desolate wad of dark energy

Nothing resembling happiness exudes from her.

She is a slave to pride & the intellect of man.

She is dead in spirit,

nothing but an animal, flesh & bone.

She is one of THEM

They are the Undead among us

Beady eyes always calculating

Greedy maws always salivating

Monsters created by shallow minds

The hunt is all they crave

To rise the ranks & win a worthless game

against the other locusts who feed

on the misery of society.

Power, Lust, Envy and Hate

Living for esteem from those they despise

To be worshiped & feared

To corrupt all that is good is their delight

To destroy Love, & make wrong right

Slimy things

Born again in primordial swamps

of corruption and poison

they breed the ancient disease

of fallen Eden

Desperate to be ‘seen’

Ego fuels their vapid lives

Slaves to base passions

the animals speak as civilizations die

They are the worst of humanity

I cannot bear to breathe the same air they breathe

I feel dirty, stained

I can’t wash off the foul stench

of Putrid decay they leave in their wake

I’m contaminated by filth

Drowning in a sea of hate

Caught in a trap

well-laid for years

by Him

Me, gullible, and naive

in my ignorance deceived

Now I see¬†a¬†darkness I’ve¬†never known

Ugliness I thought I was privy to

Books I read, scars received, nothing prepared

me for these assaults on my sanity

Anger unreal, hate hidden, nothing revealed

until the fangs sink in, withdraw, smile, rip again

as if I’m just some plaything

a rag doll eviscerated invisibly

a puppet hanging by bloody strings of flesh

I am soul shocked

I am mind raped

stripped

flayed alive by demons

wearing suits of skin

Strangers paid to hate, not another

human, I am nothing but a

sad specimen below their pay grade

yet,

I refuse to die

My blessing and curse my belief in the Afterlife

so, I stay

In these so often colorless days & nights

filled with prayers and pleas & begging

to a celestial Being I now struggle to believe in

Nothing sates me

Nothing takes me away from

nothing but pain & panic

I am crushed on all sides

I am only living for one thing

My Children’s Lives and Sanity

the rest of me is in limbo

Lost in a fog of protecting those I love

Sleep sucks me into tormented dreams

I fight and claw myself awake

Slipping away is my faith,

yet

I hang on,

for some strange reason

without desire or contemplation,

I hang on

I feel a longing for a distant song

I reach across the abyss and grasp

I find you, I feel you

image (6)VSunCentury

 

You vibrate through me

your existence blankets me

your thoughts enfold me

in the warmth of knowing

I am never alone

You are the flame always burning

Calling out to me as my own draws

new life from you

My horizon, my sun

you always

no matter how foul my mood

your words surround, hold

comfort, enfold

Your soul shines

as I wander in mists of purgatory

Lost until I feel you again

You are a guiding star, always near

though I fall and falter

though I run in fear

Your light burns midnight alive

I smile in the storm

I smile past the pain,

if only for a little while,

I smile

Your words remind me

there is hope and beauty

there is love and magic

there is joy surrounding me

in every seeming tragedy

that I am blessed beyond belief

that I have strength from He who created me

that I have souls who depend upon and need me

that I am loved unconditionally

 

Your words spin webs of tranquility

as they engage my heart to beat again

Your inner strength unbinds me

and reminds me,¬†‘This too shall pass’

 

I see you, I see into your heart

It’s a mystery, yet I know you

feel it too

I see your faith in me

I see that I need to rise to

truth and nobility existing

within and around me

I see myself

in a mirror untainted

I see myself in you

You see me through eyes of beauty

You accept me with impunity

I smile

I whisper your name

in thanks I praise your existence

in this world, in my world

 

I pray you feel my kisses I send

upon gentle winds, across infinity

my lips curved in a soft smile

in wordless joy for your gift to me

Your soul

your poetry

washes me new

I feel clean

I feel free

I feel redeemed

on these grey days touched by you

 

~

¬†*And though the darkness has deepened, the Light was and is unchanging and¬†I refuse to let myself become consumed by evil souls. ¬†God IS my salvation and He WILL protect my family. ¬†My children’s well-being, happiness and safety are my priority.

I still find moments to breathe.  I still find moments to reflect and see the good God ALWAYS brings out of seemingly insurmountable obstacles and betrayals. 

Thank you all for reading me, truly and thank you for your posts

I always gain insight, inspiration and beauty from all I read and follow in this blogging community. 

Peace xo

©justagirllost2

*photos mine

 


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The King of Lies

image

 

My Love obscene
Condemned to die
by a court of One
a King of Lies

Thief of my thoughts
this Judas Priest
Blackmailer punk
My soul sold cheap
carried his cross
Led on his leash

A genius of insanity
With gifts of dirt
& blasphemies
he buried me
he clipped my wings
Rabid for
a special treat

In recompense for my sin
I lay upon
stripped to skin

His Holy Grail
my bed of nails
His every pain
I bled for him

and

Oh,

how he loved
to watch me die

~

©justagirllost2 

*¬†image by Lithuanian photographer Algis GriŇ°kevińćius.

*in honor of #arielpoets¬† I’m reposting this.¬† The theme @arielpoets this month of January is Betrayal¬†


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Fascinating Food For Thought ~ ūüźį

An article that sums up quite nicely what has been taking up my spare time…

Enjoy  

(more to come if you’re fascinated by rabbit holes…)

‚̧¬† Niki

“you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.‚Ä̬†
~¬†Lewis Carroll,¬†Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

ūüźį

‚ÄúHave I gone mad? I’m afraid so.¬†
You’re entirely Bonkers.¬†
But I will tell you a secret, 
All the best people are.‚Ä̬†

~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

ūüźį

‚ÄúIt was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, “when one wasn’t always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn’t gone down the rabbit-hole–and yet–and yet–…‚Ä̬†

~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

ūüźį

‚ÄúThe simple step of a courageous individual is not to take part in the lie. “One word of truth outweighs the world.‚Ä̬†
~ Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ūüźį¬† ¬†ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†¬†ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†¬†ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†¬†ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†ūüźį¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†ūüźį

QQQQ

It is the fantasy, dare I say wet dream, of all Hillary-haters and all Trumpsters everywhere.
Donald Trump is going to take down the deep state.¬† A stunning military coup. Truth.¬† Straight down.¬† As you read these very words there are over 1,000 sealed indictments for Hillary Clinton and other deep state operatives.¬† Further, the US courts cannot be trusted as they are riddled with bought and corrupt jurists, so military tribunals will be used to try these enemies of the state.¬† It’s going down…¬†

So says Q.

Q is an anonymous poster on 4chan.¬† Q began posting in late October.¬† His posts are in the form of questions, short statements, long lists of connected important people/things, obscure acronyms, and occasionally random series of characters and symbols.¬† Q refers to these clues as “breadcrumbs” and claims they are releasing the “biggest insider drop in the history of the world”.
Here‘s a pastebin that supposedly has collected Q’s various postings

Depending on what side of the political minefield you are standing on Q is either a raving lunatic of the conspiratorial bend, or Q is sheer genius, an insider telling the world that the deep state is coming down.

“Puppet masters”, Rothschilds, Soros, “bloodlines”, Putin, New World Order, International Banks, popular political party members, POTUS, random codenames, every US government agency with a 3 letter acronym, Merkel, Clinton, JFK, are all found in Q’s breadcrumbs.

Now, in this wide world of cyber, why would Q rise to the top of the truther/Trump/conspiracy world? There have been a number of international & national happenings in the past several weeks that seem to draw some vague correlations between “Q’s” claims and recent news. Things that get the troops all riled up and are really of some consequence.

One is The NY Times released an article on November 12, titled “Security Breach and Spilled Secrets Have Shaken the N.S.A. to Its Core”, in which is written the following paragraph:
Fifteen months into a wide-ranging investigation by the agency’s counterintelligence arm, known as Q Group, and the F.B.I., officials still do not know whether the N.S.A. is the victim of a brilliantly executed hack, with Russia as the most likely perpetrator, an insider’s leak, or both.
Until now “Q” had been just another conspiracy theorist, but with this article “Q” is claiming the NY Times is attempting to directly attack their credibility by claiming they are part of the NSA.¬† Conspiracy theorists (or people who see through the propaganda of the corporate controlled MSM) are putting together the pieces of the puzzle and finding a lot to hang their (tinfoil ?) hats on.

There is the matter of the +++ that Q signed off with, he wrote on November 6, “Nothing is random.¬† Everything has meaning. +++”

Seven minutes later Trump wrote a tweet and ended it with +++.¬† Now, even for those who know for a fact that Q is a larper, this is a pretty weird “coincidence”.

Then there was the airplane.  Q keeps posting these little weird breadcrumbs that tend to be kind of true.  There was the photo from an airplane posted by Q, and someone figured out the angle from the photograph matched the coordinates and exact piece of land Air Force One was flying over, at pretty much the exact time the photo was posted.  Leading one to believe Q was on Air Force One.

Then there have been breadcrumbs about Saudi Arabia and indictments that have proven to have  some veracity.

The MSM has been utterly silent about Q.¬† Pravda may be the biggest news source to break the story other than “Metro” with a poorly written story debunking Q, however, it did put it out there.

So, who is Q?¬† Anyone’s guess.¬† Could be a larper.¬† 4chan are¬†anonymous¬†forums. You can hide behind a username. LARPing is Live Action Role-Playing, where you pretend to be someone else in real life. A LARPer in this context is someone who claims “I am a high level official in the Department of Justice” without providing evidence and then say something like, “The DoJ will announce charges against the CEO of Comcast tomorrow.” Because no proof is provided, some people will say that the poster is role-playing as the person they claim to be.¬† However, there is just too much insider stuff for Q to be a total zero.

These are names that have been thrown out as possible Q authors: Trump himself,  Roger Stone, Steve Bannon, Dan Scavino Jr., Anthony Scaramucci, Michael Flynn, and many think it is the ex-CTO, Nash Borges, of the Global Engagement Center who resigned this September.

“The Obama administration established the¬†Global¬†Engagement Center in 2016 to counter ISIS‚Äô various online messaging efforts, directing the new office to use data and to work with international partners in a bid to undermine extremist propaganda more effectively than State‚Äôs previous such unit, the Center for Strategic Counterterrorism Communications. GEC‚Äôs toolbox included various outreach efforts, including highly targeted ad buys on Facebook.

Last year, the 2017¬†National¬†Defense Authorization Act gave the GEC an additional mission: fighting ‚Äúforeign propaganda and disinformation directed against United States national security interests and proactively advance fact-based narratives that support United States allies and interests.‚ÄĚ The Act, which became law in December, allowed the Global Engagement Center to ask the Pentagon for $40 million, bringing its total 2017 spending to about $80 million. About $60 million of that was to be used to counter Russian influence operations; about $19 million was aimed at ISIS.– Defense One September 2017

This little baby can manipulate the MSM anyway it wants, and perhaps Borges no longer wanted in on that game.

However, it’s probably someone on the inside playing.¬† Even if it is all fantasy, there is a certain seeding of consciousness that is occurring with those who “believe”.¬†¬† There is a visceral yearning for the take down of the deep state.¬† Greg Grandin writes in The Nation:

The deep state may be …”an almost hereditary covert caste, running from the men who in the early days of the Cold War set up the modern national security state to the elite who make up today‚Äôs ‚Äúintelligence community.‚ÄĚ In 1964, Random House published the bestselling The Invisible Government, by journalists David Wise and Thomas Ross (here‚Äôs the CIA‚Äôs declassified review of the book, which takes exception to its thesis). More recently, Michael Glennon‚Äôs National Security and Double Government updated the argument.

Peter Dale Scott was the first, as far as I know, to use the phrase ‚Äúparapolitics‚ÄĚ and ‚Äúdeep politics‚ÄĚ to discuss what is now described as the deep state, and he‚Äôs the author of numerous books on the dense connections between illegal drugs, covert action, and finance… I remember that Iran-Contra really did happen. As Michael Parenti likes to point out, conspiracies do in fact exist, both in legal theory and in politics:¬†Watergate, Iran-Contra, the savings and loan scandal of the 1980s/90s, ‚Äúdescribed by the Justice Department as ‚Äėa thousand conspiracies of fraud, theft, and bribery,‚Äô the greatest financial crime in history‚ÄĚ (that we know of).”

Q’s opus magnum is about the war between the deep state and the people of the United States.¬† It is about the corruption that has rotted the core of our politics.¬† It is about the pedophiles that get away with unspeakable crimes due to the elite status.¬† It is about the intrigue that surrounds the connections of Saudi Arabia with the Clinton Foundation.¬† It is about voter fraud.¬† It is about draining the swamp.¬† It is about the¬†rogue, evil nature of the CIA.¬† If nothing else it is a fascinating read.

And, a rallying cry for those of this conspiratorial persuasion.  A place to go to learn, to puzzle, to ruminate and to dream.
Random Q questions
1.    What is money flow disruption?
2.    List the Billionaires.
3.    What family history goes back pre_WW1/2?
4.    Why is this relevant?
5.    Why did the Bush family recently break silence and attack POTUS?
6.    Coincidence pre SA arrests?
7.    Who audits the billions paid for war?
8.    Who audits the billions paid for environment policy (side note)?
9.    Where do the funds go?
10.    Offshore?
11.    To who / which entity and/or org?
12.    What slush fund was recently terminated by AG Sessions?
13.    What is Fast & Furious?
14.    What is the underlying theme?
15.    MONEY.
16.    Who controls the FED?
17.    How did political leaders/talking heads accum assets in excess of $5mm+?
18.    What was the net worth for each prior to taking office?
19.    Reconcile.
Nancy O’Brien Simpson

Ms. Simpson was a radio personality in New York.  She was a staff writer for The Liberty Report.  A PBS documentary was done on her activism for human rights.  She is a psychotherapist and political commentator.

http://nancyobriensimpson.com/
~

http://www.pravdareport.com/amp/world/americas/23-11-2017/139239-military_q-0/

*THIS is IMPORTANT TO READ:

  • The boards of full and half chan have been run over by deep state nonsense.¬† We have never talked about jews, never posted nazi bs…¬† If you want to read the posts sans trolls


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I am a poet

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They say

that all poets

at some point in time

possess and express

in overabundance

one or two or three or four

of the traits listed below:

Moodiness

Instability

Insanity

Eccentricty

and are very

Selfish

Idealistic

Intense

Impulsive

Cynical

Morose

Emotional

and

LoveWithEveryFiberOfTheirBeingNoMatterTheConsequenceComeHellOrHighWater

and

if it’s true

you have these traits

and all poets have these traits

you might be a poet

Depending upon

the interpretation,

it’s not a bad thing

and

I might be a poet, too

though

I live in the same world as you

Poetry is my favorite addiction/meditation/recreation/Re-Creation

I adore exploring every beautiful place

in a poet’s universe

I am a poet,

but only in spirit

I’m not like you

You are one of the chosen few

Whose words speak to my heart’s most hidden parts

I cannot pen my adoration to the ones I adore

as elegantly as you do

So, I carry you with me

I invite you into my most secret place

beneath an ancient oak

whose massive branches hang like arms

forming a cradle covered by a canopy of leaves

It’s my secret room I want to share with you

I gently lay you down on a bed of of grass

next to me as I sit in the sacred silence

I open your pages

I read your poems

Your magic is who you are

You paint in colors

that never existed before

Yes, you are a poet

You often lie between the pages

of Sylvia Plath

and Rossetti

or Robert Frost,

as Bukowski

flutters in the wind,

waiting impatiently

for me to finish

I read your last word

I let you slip away into the pages of places

I can only see in the dreams you write for me

I wait to once again taste your poetry

for I am a poet too, in spirit

and

I’m in love

with every poet and poem

whose kindred words

have touched my shore

~

©justagirllost2


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CHRISTY

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~

The past is always present ~ Immortality in ink

bleeds from the heart of Love

beyond the reach of time in ebbings and flowings

sweptaway keptaway sinking thinking

what if this is all there is
what if there is so much more?

the present

my words always true untainted by reason

as constant as the tides heavenly sun rising high

always true ~ as constant as the tides

no rhyme or reason ~ no longer my own

owned by the one who holds my heart

my every thought eternally bound to only you

Dance with the Angels, my beautiful Christy

You were an angel over all of us

You swept us ‘neath your wings

dusklightmemory

Always with love we’ll remember you,

Always your love will pull us thru

you’re forever in our hearts

and forever in our dreams

~

I miss you and I love you,¬†my sweet Christy ‚̧

I pray that you are resting gently at peace

RIP ~ 05/13/2017  ~ Christina Gigliotti

~

There’s

so much i wanna say

about how she influenced and affected me and others

ripples on an ocean

she was like a star falling into a sea

touching so many

in ways we didn’t know we needed,

but

this is all I have for now…

prayers for her and her family

prayers for us all

amen

~

©justagirllost2


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I’m New

 

151e52b24facca41ba6603c87e89840b

I’ve changed

the old me is in the rearview

I’ve changed

the new me drags no chains

my heart ~ my thoughts

my decisions rearranged

I’m¬†new

everyday,

from this day thru

I’m new

~

©justagirllost2

A new song I love and I hope you will love it as much as I do ~ xo

~