Just a Girl Lost 2

Just a girl lost~ Here I share bits & pieces of me, in poetry, prose, music & posts from writers who inspire me.


When You Read Me



When you read me

I feel so beautiful


It’s this surreal thing

an intimacy

a happening


It’s pure desire

an eternal Spring

your mind reading mine


I rejoice in you

seeing me


You gift me part of you

a precious piece

I love to need

When you read me



*photo mine


I See


When the earth is veiled beneath magic

Heaven’s water droplets of fog

A mist brings blindness to the corruption of man

That’s when my heart flees from my mind

My body sighs as it follows my whims

My racing legs meet wet grass amidst tombstones

I cannot be without the within

of this place of fairy tales and greys

this place where time stands still

where spirits play

where every intrusion disappears

and all that’s left is purity of nothingness

Purity of silence that used to be

before civilizations cacophony

blazed trails of destruction

I feel the dew drip upon me

surrounding me in pieces of soul

of ghosts disembodied yet whole

and for once, for one brief moment,

I am at peace

I see only nature without beams & wires

without man made contrivances

I see only Beauty of lives in an eternal earth

beneath a sun that forever lives

I see me, you, us, all in a dream that is the true reality



*photo mine



Never Shy


image (6)



Though the flowers shy from the sun

You are too filled with love to hide

your beauty from the light

Never be afraid of your song

Forever sing out loud

Never dull your shine

Forever live undone



*photo mine


Maggie, our new kitty

This is Maggie, my youngest daughter’s new kitten.

Maggie loves to play and sleep all day

I hope she stays that way, except the meowing

a bit too loudly at night…

that’s my sleeping time




To A Cat

by Jorge Luis Borges
 Mirrors are not more silent
nor the creeping dawn more secretive;
in the moonlight, you are that panther
we catch sight of from afar.
By the inexplicable workings of a divine law,
we look for you in vain;
More remote, even, than the Ganges or the setting sun,
yours is the solitude, yours the secret.
Your haunch allows the lingering
caress of my hand.
 You have accepted,
since that long forgotten past,
the love of the distrustful hand.
You belong to another time.
 You are lord
of a place bounded like a dream.


Christmas to me 🎄

Christmas to me  is always magical.  Even when I’m feeling like a Scrooge. 🎄

Christmas somehow manages to get beneath my skin and throw goodwill and cheer in there with all the rest of forgotten memories.

Like Midnight Mass every year when I was little.  My mom waking me and getting me dressed to attend the most beautiful Mass of the year.  I remember thinking real angels were singing in the choir above and I loved so very much the procession outside and being able to finally see the baby Jesus lying in His creche.  It was somber, beautiful, joyful and beyond words.


Those mornings waking to see that Santa had passed and even if what wasn’t on my list was under the tree, I still adored it all.

I’ve never grown out of Christmas.  Even though the early mornings are NOT my thing, I still muster up the strength to wake up and get ready to act happy as my children are when they see the gifts under the tree.

This year, for the first time, my son won’t be here.  He’s with his dad this Christmas.  His youngest sister opted out and the judge didn’t make her go, but my son did the right thing and took the bullet for her.  I hope he has fun and I miss him more than I can write or express in speaking.  Christmas won’t be the same without him here.  But, I still love it.

I love how people are so much nicer when shopping or just out and about.  It reminds me that there is so much good-will in this world.  It reminds me to be a better me.

I love all the Christmas shows on TV.  How can you not???  I love them all.  The old, the beautiful, the cheesy, all of them remind me to smile.

I love decorating and sitting downstairs in the evenings just enjoying the lights and the quiet.  It’s soothing and spiritual and special.  There is nothing like it.


I love shopping for trees.  Even though I hate thinking of them chopped and lonely waiting for someone to buy them, I always wish they were still in a forest somewhere, but I still shop and look for and find and will  patiently wait for the PERFECT tree. Like we did this year.  My mom was in a ‘mood’, par and course for her lately, and wanted to leave because we had to wait for the poor overworked manager to help us, but I said, “NO! We’ve found the perfect tree and we’ll wait to take it home, end of story.” I apologized profusely to the manager and I said a prayer for him and his family. (Old age is never an excuse to be mean) imho   🙂


Here’s our tree and this year I decided to put only ornaments that were homemade, or significant.  The special ones, no theme, no garland, just ornaments from all of the kids and me.  I most love the paper and cut-out ones they made when they were so small.  The ones with their pictures on them, the ones they balk at. The dough star tied with yarn. Those make me smile most.



I love that my crazy mother is giving my youngest daughter a kitten this year without asking me.  I don’t mind, I adore kittens and my daughter has never really had a pet all her very own.  This Christmas morning will be memorable indeed.  🙂

I love how on Christmas Eve it’s a time to just stay home and hunker in.  While the rest of the world shops last minute frantically, we can do nothing but enjoy Christmas music and hot chocolate on this year’s balmy day 0f 70 degrees.  (the South never fails to be  unseasonably warm inappropriately)

I just love Christmas and I always will.

I hope yours is the most beautiful, peace-filled, glorious one and that you receive all the joy and happiness you need.  God Bless you!

Love and Peace,

Niki  🎄 💕



Why the Cat is a Mercenary of LOvE ~


When our cat, my cat, the cat belonging only to herself,

deigns to sleep next to me I feel special & loved

Our cat, my cat, the cat is a good judge of character,

I pretend to believe that Cats know how & who to love.

They’re fluffy, fickle, mercenary creatures

They pretend not to know you sometimes.

They’re more patient than dogs.

They take their Sweet Cat Time

They’re selective about which lap they wanna lay in.

They definitely hold up in comparison

to Zach, our dog

who follows & gets in their faces

like a jumping bean, bouncing just

out of reach NEVER taking the hint,

NEVER getting out of Cat Space,

’til they get away & sometimes scratch him.

He’s always in a frenzy for their attention,

Maybe he’s jealous when they’re around us?

and He rarely barks. Anyone can arrive,

unannounced. He loves people  too much.

He tries to escape every morning

Anytime he can bust thru the door

& run between your legs,

he’s GONE, on a doggie quest

leaving Notes on every mailbox

& if  it’s sunny day

he rolls around in a special field

& comes home smelling so vile

& disgusting he gets a bath, we both hate that.

Cats don’t roll in manure & toxic muck

They HATE unsanitary things

maybe that makes them smarter?


to be fair, our cat, LuLu loves to lay

on counter tops &  book shelves

& 5 out of 10 times she rolls right off

So, maybe Cats & Dogs are evenly matched,

in their own unique way.



I adore our dog.  He makes better company.  He never leaves.


*photo mine. Our dog Zach & me.

The cat I was writing about couldn’t be found to be photographed today.


Sixth Sense about You



Somehow I always know

that you have written,

within minutes


I look for you

I see you

I read you

and I smile


I seem to have

this sixth sense

about you

and it’s deliciously

wickedly sublime




*photo mine