I curled up into my mind
held myself tight
I wrote to the one who hurt me
my thoughts never tongue-tied
I was bold ALL CAPS adamant
about my boundaries to be
Truthful about what I believe
what I want
what I need
Brutally honest
Pure feeling screaming
electricity
thru my words
running free
silently violently
finally
after three messages
finally
I got it
I GOT it
finally
I realized it didn’t matter if the one
I dreaded ever read my messages
finally
I know I need to let go
I know who I am
I know what I deserve and what it means to love
I don’t need to prove I’m right
not anymore
finally I got it
the truth is
God’s the only One who knows my heart
He’s the only One I answer to and for
I realize I never truly want to hurt those I love
I remember finally
I see the beautiful, loving, giving, radiant truth their presence brings
Stepping away into the silence
the darkness of feeling
everything
such a pain, such a peace
I realize this life is a never ending learning how to Be
how to love, how to clearly see
I let the anger, hurt, pain in tears wash over me
I know that I’m not happy living sad
The darkness is my haven
temporarily
until I’m ready to face the warmth of loving and being loved again
That’s where I am meant to live
that’s me
~
©justagirllost2
~
*A favorite song from one of my most favorite groups, Staind. I LOVE all of their music. Their words are soulful, introspective, real, raw and speak to me in so many ways. Past and present. This song is one of my favorites. ❤
This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I’ve shared
And these are my dreams
That I’d never lived before
Somebody shake me
‘Cause I
I must be sleeping
Now that we’re here,
It’s so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All in the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we’re here it’s so far away
And I feel like I can face the day, and I can forgive
And I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today
These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I think I’m doing okay
And this is the smile
That I’ve never shown before
Somebody shake me ’cause I
I must be sleeping
Now that we’re here,
It’s so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All in the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we’re here it’s so far away
And I feel like I can face the day, and I can forgive
And I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today
I’m so afraid of waking
Please don’t shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don’t shake me
Now that we’re here,
It’s so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All in the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we’re here it’s so far away
And I feel like I can face the day, and I can forgive
And I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today
May 11, 2017 at 5:11 pm
You describe this so well I stand with you my friend
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 12, 2017 at 4:55 am
Thank you so much, Beauty. You’re one of my lifelines of joy. xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 12, 2017 at 10:06 am
Many love you and care and I am one xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 12, 2017 at 11:20 am
and one more blessing I feel surrounding me. Love to you, sweetness. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 10, 2017 at 7:18 pm
Its hard when you get hurt but through all this you have to pull yourself together and eventually you will find happiness again!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 10, 2017 at 7:27 pm
Yes, it is so hard to pull ourselves up, you are so right, my friend. 🙂 Thank you for reading me and for your kind words! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 10, 2017 at 7:29 pm
You Welcome!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person