Just a Girl Lost 2

Just a girl lost~ Here I share bits & pieces of me, in poetry, prose, music & posts from writers who inspire me.

The Blue Dream

19 Comments

f3a5ebafe710d382e0ee63f2635f8cac

I promised I would write my dreams,

since I’m not inspired right now to write anything

about Love or Life or Living.

I have been dreaming lately and that is a rarity.

I mean that i am ‘remembering’ my dreams.

I know that we all dream, blah, blah, blah.

I just lately have had some memorable dreams

as in BRIGH COLORS

and STRANGE SITUATIONS.

In this dream, I’ll call it ‘The Blue Dream’, I am in a HUGE, MASSIVE, meandering house.

This huge house is apparently being ‘given’ to me and my children.

(my children’s ages vary and morph as the dream progresses)

In the process of moving in, the former tenants have left a LOT OF STUFF, weird stuff and the former tenants (picture The Brady Bunch times 10) the Brady Bunch are ‘helping’ me clean-up.

As they help me clean up they are also finding things they had forgotten and are happily taking them home.

This house is HUGE and one room has a red puppet theater and a white baby bed and lots of baby toys just lying around.

It’s night and the room is bluish in hue with lights dancing off the walls.

There are people pulling wallpaper off, sawing, hammering, nailing, taking paneling off, putting things in bags.

We move on into the kitchen.  The kitchen is a jumble of carpentry, hardware, sawdust, no table or anything, just a weird metallic, greenish, harsh, undone, uninviting mess.

There’s white stuff everywhere.

Like, that white stuff on walls and ceilings, crumbly and powdery white.

There’s drawers lying on the floor filled with CRAP.

You know, that junk drawer you just throw little pieces of crap into.  There are drawers scattered and tossed and filled with utensils and forks, knives, spoons, corn-cob holders, different colored rubber bands, tacks, tacks, tacks, little nails and all the little things you need to stick things to the wall.  BORING.

I march/slither/slide upstairs, downstairs, all around, seeing rooms with bunk beds, seeing into bathrooms with clothes hanging everywhere and toothbrushes, toothpaste, pictures, children’s paintings, all sorts of things just everywhere.  Stuff left behind, not worthy of keeping, but the Brady’s were realizing that there was some pretty cool stuff they’d left behind and so as I’m seeing into these rooms, I’m seeing the Brady’s picking up, sorting thru, laughing about, holding onto all this stuff they had forgotten about.  They’re finding treasure as I’m tearing down to move in and it’s a chaotic mess.  NOISE and MESS and NOISE and ripping and tearing and running thru the house.

I turn and step into an elevator.  It’s a brown elevator.  Wood with scratches in it.  I step in hesitantly, I know I’m going down, I know I have to get in, but also I decide in this dream that I am NOT going to be stuck in this elevator.  (I am SO CLAUSTROPHOBIC. As a child I wasn’t in the least, but as an adult, I am)

Suddenly, I come to a STOP.  I’m at a dead end.  No where to go forward. I step out of the elevator and am a bit relived because my lucid dreaming worked!

A cul-de-sac in the hallway.  I’m standing in a hallway.  I look to my right and I see sitting on a wooden crate a blond girl, about 5 or 6, wearing yellow shorts and top.  She has pigtails and is just sitting quietly, solemnly on the crate in the cul-de-sac staring at me. Not moving, just staring at me.

I need the bathroom.

I turn suddenly and look straight ahead.  I’m looking in a mirror.  I’m in a bathroom.

I’m standing in a narrow, white enamel on the wall, white sink, light bulb hanging down with a pull string, bathroom.

I look in the mirror and I’m COMPLETELY BLUE.  I’m covered in blue.  Painted blue.  A cobalt blue.  My hair is a mess, all frizzy and sticking out and BLUE.  My skin is blue.  My gown is blue.  My feet are blue!  I look at the girl and feel confusion, I know I have to keep going.  I look down the hallway.

I hear people laughing and I know there is a party going on.

I turn and find some stairs.

I go down these dingy, dark stairs.  The whole house is falling apart/being redone.  It’s got a 70’s vibe. The party room.  Paneling, blue and green furniture, not too well lit.  It’s dim, like a dying sun yellow.

It’s a party and everyone is happy and laughing and talking, but the colors and smell and feeling all say dank, dark, slime, oppressive.

I step into the room and see everyone dressed in groovy polyester pantsuits and dresses, chunky shoes and puffy hair.  I see our neighbor from across the street.  Miss Bea.

She and her husband, Mr. Andy, were my second parents.  They had 4 kids, the youngest girl was a year younger than me and my best friend, my sister almost.  We spent everyday together. Our mom’s would drink coffee and talk and we would play.  We practically lived together. 

Miss Bea.

She looks beautiful.

She’s smiling and laughing, wearing a lovely dress and she’s young.

I’m surprised to see her there because she’s dead.

She tells me that she’s with her daughter.

Her first pregnancy was a miscarriage, they named her Susan, and I’d always felt a sadness from her when she thought about Susan.  I loved Miss Bea.  She was very quiet, tiny.  Didn’t drive a car.  Her husband drove her everywhere. 

Miss Bea, my sweet, mysterious, very kind, never raised her voice, LOVED romance novels, smoked like a chimney, my mom’s best friend, my second mom was telling me she was happy and with her daughter. 

I was uncomfortable the whole time, of course, I’m in disarray.  My hair is a mess and I’m covered in blue! I turned to look around …

I woke up.

That’s it.

That’s my Blue Dream.

 

*image, Death and the Mirror, James Christensen

@justagirllost2

 

 

 

Author: justagirllost2

Just a girl lost in some ways, found in others. Writing my thoughts, ideas, dreams, realities, pieces of me ~ not all pretty~ definitely real ~ I'm a mother with faith in God's divine providence. Belief that my mistakes and selfishness and chaotic past are a jumbled tapestry that in the end will be woven heavenly. That all is never what it seems. That good will always claim victory and there is a plan beyond what human eyes and our fallen natures can see. My three children are my miracles, my life, my blessings. They inspire me to be a better woman and human being. I hope that you and I share and learn from each other in the beauty and reality of life on this ever evolving journey. xo ~ This is a place without masks ~ without broken glass paths ~ This is a place to be free To be the me He created me to be ~ Just a girl lost XxX

19 thoughts on “The Blue Dream

  1. How you remember all that is incredible. I’ve had to wake myself from dreams lately because they are so disturbing or scare me. Maybe it’s age lol!
    !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s so interesting, and that you remembered such detail!
    So how did you feel when you woke up?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I felt irritated. lol I was irritated at myself for dreaming such a messy, unsatisfying, confusing dream, I didn’t feel any strong emotions like I normally do in a dream where I’m in dread or fear or blissfully happy or crying for days sad. This was a kind of lucid dream, I think. OMG. I forgot the elevator! You just reminded me! brb!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • So are there things in your life now you feel irritated about especially, or that you feel you are not in control of etc?
        I lucid dream too sometimes, is there something you need to problem solve that’s bothering you in particular?
        The colour stuff is so interesting too!

        Liked by 1 person

      • There IS and the color stuff makes no sense to me. I’ve always dreamed in color. One dream I remember vividly, I had when I was a teenager and it was in two colors: yellow and red. If I posted that dream here, it might disturb some people. Do you dream in color?

        Liked by 1 person

      • yes I do, but not particularly vividly like this.
        It would be interesting to ask an expert on the significance of those colours. I’ve had colour therapy before but i don’t remember the particular qualities of each colour.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hmm. You’ve piqued my interest! I’ve never delved into this before and may have to. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • I added the part you helped me remember! thank you! It was the elevator part I had forgotten. For the first time in my life I can control my dreams, sometimes. It’s a weird experience.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Really? I’ve always been able to do it, i read a helpful book years ago about dreaming, that as it’s symbolic, it more about the emotions evoked, and that children normally lucid dream as their brains develop problem solving skills. if you do as an adult, it might mean a particularly stressful situation bothering you apparently, or an old problem being brought into your conscious mind to be dealt with? Dreams are so fascinating!

        Liked by 1 person

      • It seems I’m backwards. lol Wow, I never lucid dreamed as a child and yes, I’m going thru a particularly stressful situation now. You are a blessing of information and kind thoughts, my dear! xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      • that is really interesting. and it makes sense then.
        You are welcome! lucid dreaming has always fascinated me, and i was happy to read that book. i just can’t remember what it was called haha
        (I’m sorry for the delay in my response. had to be somewhere).

        Like

      • But i do remember that the lucid dreaming part was anxiety related, does that ring true for you? or maybe other dream experts would not agree? i’m no expert 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • I didn’t know, until now. wow. See, here’s the thing, it’s no fun to dream when they are lucid. It’s tiresome and depressing, because it seems that I’m not influencing them in a positive way, instead it’s that I’m changing or avoiding or not letting things happen. I can’t lucid dream myself on a desert island with my perfect lover who is adoring me the whole dream, etc… sigh

        Liked by 1 person

      • yes it’s mostly about dealing with a very anxious situation. but maybe it takes practice too, because i’ve managed to create some, er, pleasant situations hehe but it did start with a difficult situation first.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Nicely penned.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.