“I’m fine,” she smiled, as her heart bled blood red. “It’s ok, really,” she said.
“You go on now. Go on your way.
I’ll still breathe.
I’ll still eat & drink.
I’ll remember to brush my teeth.
I’ll still make silly little rhymes in my head.
I’ll talk to people as though
I’m really alive… not dead.
I’ll nod & blink, staring into their cold eyes
pretending I’m listening as their lips move glistening,
spewing hate-filled gossip & arsenic laced observations
about their deranged relations.
I’ll blow a strand of hair up in the air as they rattle on about this & that
and giving tit for tat.
I’ll giggle, just a little, imagining their greedy, needy mouths are fat moth wings
flapping wildly in a hot wind, connected to red moth bodies smeared all over the windshield
of a Camaro going 110.
I’ll grimace & smirk, at appropriate times,
and throw out an, ‘Oh really? Why’s that?’
so they can begin yet another torturous chorus in their Stepford rap…
As I shall then, oh so gently,
my heart’s thoughts to You.
You, my human zen island oasis
floating in my insane headspace.
Each rotation of You spinning me true.
You~ the place I always run to.
Crying, sighing, hanging onto every single strand of words
you ever once said to me of every moment of everyday.
Hoping that by replaying them over & over in my dizzy head
I’ll figure out how to pour enough love on you
to keep you from going away.
I’m not out of time I’ll pray.
So, go on,
my love~my heart~my soul
my sun~my moon
my night~my day
Go on for now,
Here I’ll just stay,
keeping myself dreaming,
sweetly scheming of a way
to get you back someday.”
*photo by Patrick Joust