Just a Girl Lost 2

Just a girl lost~ Here I share bits & pieces of me, in poetry, prose, music & posts from writers who inspire me.


Hold me, thrill me, kiss me


Hold me, hold me

Never let me go until you’ve
Told me, told me
What I want to know and then just
Hold me, hold me
Make me tell you,”I’m in love with you”

Thrill me, thrill me
Walk me down the lane where shadows
Will be, will be
Hiding lovers just the same as
We’ll be, we’ll be
When you make me tell you, “I love you”

They told me, “Be sensible with your new love
Don’t be fooled thinking this is the last you’ll find”
But they never stood in the dark with you love
When you take me in your arms and drive me slowly out of my mind

Kiss me, kiss me
And when you do I’ll know you that you will
Miss me, miss me
If we ever say ‘Adieu’, so
Kiss me, kiss me
Make me tell you, “I’m in love with you”

Kiss me, kiss me
And when you do I’ll know you that you will
Miss me, miss me
If we ever say ‘Adieu’, so
Kiss me, kiss me
Make me tell you, “I’m in love with you”

Never, never, never let me go
Never, never, never let me go
Never, never, never let me go

Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me ~ Mel Carter


*a song I love that I was reminded of

*photo mine


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My Door

I want you away from my door.

I keep it flush with the wood.

I want you to stay far from my door.

It is my moat, when it’s intact.

It is my fault line where you cannot earthquake my land.

It is my indivisible me where you cannot stand.


Broken mankind

I will never understand the cruelty in this world.

As a child I was obsessed with why people would hurt innocent animals.

I still cannot understand sadism and being mean.

It disgusts me and makes me happy there is a hell for hate-filled beings.

Those types will only be happy tormenting other life forms.

How, how and how can anyone hate so much?

I was the one in my family who picked up the strays

The hurt ones. I felt insane.

I remember going for counsel to very brilliant priest. A Jesuit.

He told me one day that human souls were more worthy of worry because animals had no free will and if I kept ruminating on animal abuse I would drive myself crazy.

I still pray for them.

The innocent animals and children.

I pray everyday for an end to their suffering at the hands of cruel, broken mankind.



Did I?


It’s so difficult,

having a soul filled



Waiting to


Being human,


and calm

normally zen-like.

That’s me

to a tee.

But, having certain types

of inhuman humans

in my life

that I tried

super super super

Super Humanly

to ‘fix’.

I survived,

or did I?

Did I?



*looking for originator of image



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What is love?


There are places I remember in my life…

Some beautiful and hug-filled and snuggly and warm. Having my head rubbed as I hold my favorite stuffy.

Some dark and muddy and filled with shouting and angry reds and implied harm. Horrid dinner table times where each mouthful was an epic swallow of dread and dust.

They are all filled with love.

The only love I know.

The only way I know how to love, so often.

My goal is to change and I am, changing it.

Two days ago, my kids and I went grocery shopping and they fought the whole time and then fought with me in the car. They spoke their minds, it hurt and taught and it sucked.

At home we had a brilliant dinner and they spent over 3 hours together making a sequel to a video they did two years ago.

Perhaps there is something to be said for airing out what we dislike about each other in a vat of loud love.

Niki 💕


*Photo mine




Why do I even write, sometimes?

I’ve been trying every new recipe I can. I love learning new ways to cook.

15314551704302124242045I watch every cooking show on Netflix and Hulu. What I love about cooking shows are that there is no room for mediocrity or not caring or not adhering to well put into place rules. Cooking is science with heart and soul.

I love watching and learning what’s right and true. I love the black and white about it all.

I wish writing were the same.

I wish I could learn the certain rules and follow them and succeed.

I know that’s not how writing works.

I feel such frustration because I haven’t yet learned how to write daily no matter my mood. I know, it’s my own fault for doing this, yet how do I change?


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Music I Like

Music, what can I say, my tastes are eclectic at best and tacky at worst.

As per the norm, I hear “new” music when driving. It’s new to me and when I look it up on YouTube I find out it’s from 2008. 😌

But, the reason I like certain music is because it touches me.

It either soothes or moves me like all classical or evokes strong emotions or just makes me wanna move.

This song by J-Kwon called Tipsy,  just makes me wanna move.

PS: when I first heard it, I thought he was singing, “Everybody in the club getting tips.” I was like, ” Huh, that’s weird, but I’m really digging it!” 😌

Enjoy 😌